Tough times for new grads 

With good-paying jobs scarce, many in their 20s return to their parents' Berks homes.

By Mike Trask
Reading Eagle

Brian D. Stoltzfus lives with his parents and works 40 hours a week at The Home Depot in Wyomissing.  It's not the kind of life the 22-year-old Elverson resident expected after graduating in May with a double major from Albright College.

"It's harder than I thought it would be," he said about his hunt for a job in marketing. And like many new college graduates, Stoltzfus finds himself back at home with his mother and father - quite a different lifestyle than sharing an off-campus home near Albright with two friends.

"I have to be more respectful. My friends don't have to get up at 4 a.m. like my dad does," Stoltzfus said of his father, Dennis, who works early shifts at Morgan Corp., a truck-body manufacturer in Morgantown.  But Stoltzfus added with a laugh that he's been eating much better since returning home.

He has to help out with chores such as mowing the lawn, but he's not paying rent, a factor that allows him to save for his eventual move out and to make monthly payments on a 2005 Nissan Altima. And while Stoltzfus doesn't have a list of rules to adhere to or a set curfew, in some ways he's sacrificing his freedom for a better chance at a comfortable life in the future. 

It's a situation that many in their early 20s face. A survey by MonsterTrak, an online job-search site targeting college
students, revealed that about two-thirds of 2003 college graduates planned to return home to live with their parents. About 22 percent planned to stay there more than a year. It's not always an easy transition when the college graduate comes home.

"The emerging adult perceives themselves as a full-fledged adult," said Dr. Avidan Milevsky, assistant professor of developmental psychology at Kutztown University.  "Parents tend to see the person as still an adolescent." Those differing perceptions can lead to anxiety and hostility, Milevsky said.  "Parents need to understand it's an adult whose moving back into their house," he said.
Milevsky warned that people fresh out of college often struggle to find their occupational, religious or political identity.

Additionally, they can be impatient in searching for a job.  Parents should communicate with their children rather than setting time limits for a person to move out or demanding they find a job immediately. "The No. 1 thing is to keep open a line of communication," he said.  Parents and young adults must talk about what the expectations of living at home are.

"Having that security of home can foster some identity," Milevsky said. 

Dr. Anne A. Skleder, vice provost and associate professor of psychology at Alvernia College, also said misunderstandings can be avoided by discussing expectations.

Students often have heightened expectations of what kind of job they will land out of college. They can be disillusioned when they realize they won't be making a lot of money, working a dream job. That, coupled with the tough job market and a great level of comfort at home, leads to many students returning to live with their parents. 
"The best thing is for the parent to get their son or daughter help with career planning," Skleder said. She said parents can suggest that recent graduates contact their college's career guidance center.

On the flip side, the young people must tell their parents what their goals are. "The emerging adult needs to explain, 'This is what I'm trying to do to get a job and get out of here,' " Milevsky said.

Stoltzfus, a dean's list student who interned in the Sovereign Center's marketing department, has had little luck finding work in the past few months. He said he has distributed about 50 resumes since graduation.
"I go online every other day and send out two or three resumes," he said. But, he's had no problems with the adjustment of living with mom and dad. "We'd like him to find a good job," said his mother, Patricia. "But he
always has a home here." "He's been a very good kid," she said. "We get along and he's very
conscientious of letting us know where he is."

Over the past 50 to 70 years, young people have faced adulthood at later ages. "If you look at the trends, now not only do you need a high school education to be an adult and an undergraduate degree to be an adult, you now may need a graduate degree to be an adult," Milevsky said.

And even when that job comes, it means more change for an emerging adult. Irina Laghidze, a May graduate of Kutztown University, found a job in her field as a Web developer at Moberg Research in Ambler, Montgomery County. Now Laghidze, 21, from the country of Georgia in eastern Europe, faces new challenges.

"I was living in the dorms," she said. "Now I'm in my own apartment and have to pay the bills."

Contact reporter Mike Trask at 610-371-5037 or mtrask@readingeagle.com